This was inspired by this article: http://fish.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/16/words-you-hate-to-hear/?hp
Anyway, here it isL
1) “Tell me a little bit more about that…”- because I’m secretly considering a psych consult for you.
2) “Hmmm”- feel free to spend and call your exes with reckless abandon, you’re going down.
3) “….oh”- you just grossed me out enough to warrant a pause for me to try to maintain composure.
4) “…and nobody wants that”- actually, YOU probably don’t want that, and I don’t want it because it’s going to mean a ton of work from me.
5) During a procedure: “hmmm” (again)….but in this case it means, “What the heck is that”
6) “Now what is most important to you in this visit?”- because you’re babbling on and on about things that have absolutely nothing to do with your chief complaint….but thanks for the wine recommendation.
7) “It’s not an ‘if’ it’s a ‘when'”- yea, you’re going down.
8)”Let’s just do a quick test for it; I don’t think it’s that but I want to make sure”- actually I’m just nervous enough to think that it IS that, and I’m getting this test to cover my butt.
9) “Thanks for coming in today”- and let’s do this again no sooner than 365 days from now!